Wednesday, August 9, 2017

When You Can't Feel Your Way Out, Behave Your Way Out!


I'm convinced that every person who has lived a few years has, at some point, felt passed over.
You didn't get the job, the promotion, the role, the recognition...the (fill in the _________).

Whatever it is you want, desire, or feel is "right" that you don't get, hurts. The feeling may be disguised as anger but at the heart - it's "hurt."

And hurt is hard to just get over. And yet you must. Because worse than "hurt" is "bitter." Hurt that is not dealt with can easily lead to bitterness.

Bitterness is divisive, destructive - dangerous.

For a Christian, the priority must always be a pure heart before God AND right relationships with other believers. These two issues are so much more important than any other single thing.

When "pure" is used in the New Testament, it is the Greek word, "katharos" and it means "clean," "blameless," and "unstained of guilt." It can refer to that which is purified by fire or by pruning.

Cultivating a pure heart > real hurt. 

Regardless of how you feel, no matter if you're right or wrong or simply have a different viewpoint, if you don't deal with your "hurt," in a godly way, you risk the root of bitterness destroying any fruit you've produced.

Read that again.

Regardless of how you feel, no matter if you're right or wrong or simply have a different viewpoint, if you don't deal with your "hurt," in a godly way, you risk the root of bitterness destroying any fruit you've produced. 

So, you're dealing with your hurt feelings and possibly confusion and, yes, even anger. You can't help how you feel but you can help how you respond. You've heard that a time or twenty, right?! It's easy to spout but oh so hard to walk out.

I've been praying about the "walking it out" part, myself!

When you can't "feel your way out" of a bitter attitude, BEHAVE your way out!

I've prayerfully listed ways to help myself (you, too!) when hurt feelings threaten to turn bitter.

  • Own up to your feelings - to God and perhaps a trusted confidante.



Pour out your heart before God. He made you. He knows you better than anyone. He gave you the desires of your heart and He can give you new desires in new seasons.

  • Give God the "go ahead" to change YOU even if the situation does not.



  • Determine that no matter what, your priority is a pure heart and right relationships.



  • Pursue peace within yourself. You may have to take your thoughts captive often. Do it as often as you must.



  • Pursue peace with others. "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men" (Romans 12:18 NJKV).


Pursuing peace often requires setting boundaries in place. Pray about what those might be. But pray in humility - not going into prayer with preconceived notions. Allow the Holy Spirit to show you what those boundaries should be. 


  • Detest pride. Put it down in whatever form it may creep into your head and heart.


Are you handling your "hurt" in a godly way? Are you battling bitterness? I've been there, friend.

Just this morning I prayed, "God, You are the One who gives and the One who takes away...but if this  "taking away" is not of You, then do something for me." Yes, I prayed that way. After all, God is my defender and the battle is His.

My desire is a pure heart and I'll confess that it's often a fight with my flesh.

I can't pray away what is my responsibility to slay away.  

Crucifying the flesh is my job, albeit a painful one. But it must be done.
Because above all else - greater than what I perceive as fair...more than what I feel is right - is my desire to "see God."

Jesus said, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God," (Matthew 5:8 NKJV).

More than anything, I want to see God - see Him moving in my life and know His anointing on me. And that is worth every effort to put aside hurt feelings, prevent the root of bitterness and pursue peace and a pure heart.


3 comments:

  1. I love the behave yourself out of it. Thanks Melanie

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  2. This is awesome. Love it .....Inspiring and very much how I feel most of the time. Thanks for sharing!

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